The Unnoticed Sacrifices

Every country has a set pattern of customs and behaviour, gender roles and social interaction. Ideologies of sexism, feminism, patriarchy, chauvinism, equality and the like exist everywhere to varying extents.
Yet there are a lot of subjects that unite everybody, especially women.
No, we aren’t going to discuss women’s rights, stereotypes, glass ceilings or inequality here.
But let us take a look at something very mundane that women- especially mothers or wives, bring upon themselves every single day.
Women may be fighting for equality on many levels and in many different areas, but the household is a place where they themselves give up on this equality multiple times a day.
Why does the fleshier part of the mango, go to the husband?
Why does she cook okra instead of cauliflower though she prefers the latter?
Why does she put a slightly burnt roti on her own plate and serve the soft, white one to others?
Why is it her responsibility to finish the leftovers while others demand fresh food?
More than often, she doesn’t even realize that she is doing this. She isn’t aware of the little favours for the entire family that she is hardly ever the recipient of.
Why does she do it? Did anybody teach her how she must chop fruits; how she must take the last serving, or how she should put the family’s favourites before her own?
No. Nobody ever specifically told her that she must take a roti from the bottom of the casserole first. Nobody taught her that ironing somebody’s shirt must be done first and her important email can wait. But maybe she has internalized the fact that other’s priorities and comforts always take precedence over her own.
Examples from the kitchen are very common and more in number. But think about your day and you will notice many more.
This definitely may not be happening in every house and a lot of spouses and children do share everything at home. But not everywhere.
Is it not possible for a man to say that that both of them can have half of the not-so-fluffy roti or share the leftovers first? Is it not possible for her to declare that if she eats what other family members love; they too must once in a while eat what she loves?
Many women might argue that they choose to do all this and in fact, like pampering their family. That may very well be the case and if so, great! It is their choice.
But the focus here is on tiny things that nobody realizes are happening, including women themselves. So, obviously nobody else is aware either.
Only when women realize what they are doing, will they be able to decide whether these unnoticed favours make them happy or whether they wish to change something.
The choice exists, but only when you realize that there is one to make!

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Shwetank Gupta May 12, 2018 at 1:43 pm

Beautifully Written!

Sailee Brahme May 12, 2018 at 2:12 pm


Shweta Agrawal May 23, 2018 at 2:31 pm

I love this. Superb

Masood Malick May 29, 2018 at 4:26 pm

Explained well!

Sailee Brahme May 29, 2018 at 4:32 pm

Thank you

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