Sometimes, it feels like forever to let go of dreams that we created in our mind and heart for a long time. Sometimes, ‘the right time’ takes forever to come, and we keep waiting for what feels like an eternity. And sometimes, it feels like we live in too many ‘sometimes’ and ‘maybes’, doesn’t it?
If the plan doesn’t work, change the plan, not the goal. Rejections make us doubt our self-worth, especially when we see others flourishing and thriving in our social circle. A lot of our fears related to rejection remain based on our wish to receive social approval. However, we must not base our confidence and self-esteem on what opinions others have of us because they do not know us better than we know ourselves.
When success speaks, nobody counts the number of rejections you have had. Here are a few things that might help you come out of your bubble again and deal with situations of rejections.
1. Think of why you started
If you feel like quitting on your goals, retrospect on why you started in the first place. Why did it matter to you?
Never give up. You have no idea what tomorrow may bring. Process what has happened, understand what you can, but do not let the refusal deter you for too long. Don’t let it get you trapped for weeks or months to come. Focus on what you do have in your life (which many others don’t) and your strengths. Commit yourself to work hard even when there are downfalls.
2. Emphasize what you can learn from it
Without a little struggle, success has no value. Even the most successful people started from the bottom, faced rejections and failures, but they never gave up. Instead, they focused on the things that went wrong; they tried to figure out the thing that was stopping them from reaching their goal/s and then learned from it.
The most powerful motivation comes from rejections. Look at the bright side and the experience you will get out of it. They say failure is the stepping-stone to success, and that is true; failures and rejections teach you things that you missed while focussing on your success. It is hard to face rejections, but you should feel those feelings and then start focusing and learning from it again and again until you reach your goal.
3. Open up and speak with a friend or loved one
You will never make it if you keep caring about what others think. Bottling the dejection and resentment of this situation can make it feel a lot worse than it is.
Letting it all out and talking it over with a friend, partner, or family member you trust, who can help you to understand and acknowledge your pent-up emotion and hence start seeing the situation with clear and sober eyes. Venting alone can allow you to start understanding what happened and what you can do to move on from here. And if you like, then your friend can offer advice from his or her own experiences. It can help the two of you figure out a plan to keep you moving forward. Having a mentor to guide you would also be a good choice.
4. Rejections are not permanent
You only fail when you stop trying. It is normal to see yourself as a failure after a rejection. One tends to take it as the end of their goals. Just because you got rejected today, does not mean that it is going to happen again. Do not initiate negative self-talk and sabotage your dreams. Keep moving forward towards your goals, one step at a time. As they say, endure the pain, enjoy the gain.
5. It is not about you
It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking there is something wrong with you. For example, you don’t get a second date. But not everything is about you. The other person may have his or her self-doubts, insecurities or looking for something else. It is never worth our energy to chase someone who can never love us back. It is just how life is. So, see if you can learn something from the situation instead of taking it personally. If you’re facing multiple rejections, in any particular aspect of life, you may require some self-work.
6. Don’t rush into doing something- let the matter sink in.
Never settle for anything less than your dreams. Comprehend about the possible reasons for your rejection, before you rush into something else. Take time to process the situation and let it sink inside your mind and heart slowly. If you try to escape the situation or ignore the feeling of grief, it is going to slow down your progress in the long run.
Avoiding and evading will only make it creep up later in your life and make you feel uncomfortable and cause repeated momentary distress. Great decisions come from a calm mind. Keeping our mental health in mind, accepting, and moving on is always a difficult, yet valuable choice.
7. Reinforce your self-esteem
“You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind”
A self-esteem toolbox packed with helpful thinking patterns and tactics will not make you invincible with negative circumstances but makes you stronger. It makes you less vulnerable to what others might think or say about you and is going to make more stuff bounce off you. With kinder self-talk that is genuinely beneficial, it is easier to remain optimistic and learn more to keep you going.
8. Realise the positive in the experience of rejection
“Rejection gives you more power to move forward”
Rejection is an opportunity to consider whether there are things we should do. It’s OK to think about whether there is space for growth or, your ambitions are higher than your skills. If this time your skills were not good enough, you may need to focus on your game, your research, your interview technique, or whatever it takes to increase your chances of getting accepted next time. Using refusal as an incentive for self-improvement is the aim.
Rejection is also a harsh reality check, but if you approach it correctly, it might help you step in a direction that turns out to be the perfect match for your talents, your personality, and all the great things that make you who you are.