In the world of temporaries – What do I look for in my permanent?

I got back from the airport a while ago. He was leaving the city forever and I went to see him off. Reality struck me when he asked not to wait at the gate and leave. That is the moment I realised I won’t be meeting this great soul again in my life. It was not the first time someone who mattered to me left, but it was definitely the first time I had a closure before it happened.
I met him amidst when I was recovering from my first heartbreak. The first guy got married after keeping me on the hook for years. He didn’t bother nor had the audacity to even inform me about his decision. It took me around a year to digest the fact that the guy I thought was the love of my life and with whom I wanted a future was now a prince of someone else’s life.
After a year of self-doubting and denial, I came to terms with the truth and decided to move on and that’s where I met this amazing soul. Like me, he had lost his girl whom he considered his forever.
We connected instantly not because we both were heartbroken but due to our similar interest in books and philosophies of life. I remember when he walked over to my table in the deli, where I was waiting to meet him for the first time, I was mentally juggling between the thoughts of staying there or running away. For all I knew, I was not the girl who met people on dating apps and how under confident I was of myself. To our luck, the awkward moments were short-lived as soon we mentioned about our hobby of reading we connected instantly. And it started from there.
We became each other’s home. We met every time we could get a chance, from rejoicing his successes to understanding the reason for my failures. We unconsciously taught a lot to each other and ended up being an important part of each other’s life. Though we couldn’t deny or change the inevitable. He had to go. He had his life planned ahead of him and I did not want to be the reason to hold him back. So, now while he is on the jet plane, getting closer to his dream with every minute, I sit back here and ponder- what do I look for in my permanent for life?
Like most girls, I always dreamt of meeting someone who will be my Mr Right and with whom I can be happy for rest of my life. To my luck, I met two Mr Rights in my life but for some reason, both of them could not be mine forever. While I have nothing but love and well wishes for both of them, I now wonder why did they become Mr Right for me, what is exactly what I want in a guy when I say I want him forever-
1. To be respected – Being respected is the most important feeling for me in any relationship. We all have our demons and flaws hidden beneath our “I’m all good” attitude and I like someone to acknowledge them and yet respect me for they make me who I actually am.
2. To be understood – I can’t think of any reason for being with someone when they cannot understand me. For the main reason, the person becomes most important to me is they understand me like no one else. A lot is conveyed via the words and actions he needs to have an eye to notice it and a brain to understand it, for me my actions will show you what you mean to me.
3. To be cared – Like every human I seek love and care. It is a beautiful feeling to know that someone out there cares for me. Those random messages of did you eat, did you take medicines, etc or acts of getting me something to cheer me up can make me happy for rest of the day. For all you know, your actions and words need to go hand in hand. Someone who says they care but show very little for me to believe it is not worth my time. You don’t have to go overboard to express it but please do not presume that since I already know it doesn’t matter anymore.
4. To be trusted – I have an individual identity besides being someone’s partner. I need to be trusted with my decisions about my life. All I know is my priorities are set and he will get all the importance he deserves. He can trust me to be by his side through thick and thins while assuring he will do the same.
5. To have faith – Faith is an important emotion. We live in an era where things change on the spur of seconds and we cannot predict what happens next. In the dynamic world like ours, faith is the binding factor in relationships. Having faith that the other person will value me, cherish and love me for who I am, for rest of their life is something that will keep me going with him forever.
While it comes out that am a very demanding person, I don’t find them to be unreasonable. For something I’m sure of now is, I deserve someone who can take me the way I am because that is what I do when I make someone part of my life. This doesn’t mean there will be no fights or no arguments, it simply means we will be fighting to make things easier and better for the future that holds us together.

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Shwetank Gupta May 26, 2018 at 2:28 pm

Well written.These things are important in living a successful life.

Masood Malick May 29, 2018 at 4:24 am

Explained with perfection!

Saurabh Mangar June 8, 2018 at 10:13 am

perfect rules for successful life… well written

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