Being curvy sometimes makes you feel unconfident to enter the dating world, let alone start a relationship. Despite so, you shouldn’t let your insecurity get the better of you and be confident in everything that you do! After all, everyone deserves love! And if you’re one of the lucky ones who have been in a long-term relationship, you may face the problem that almost all couples face: Losing Sparks. It is undeniable that at the start of any relationship, there are many novel experiences shared between both parties; feelings are strong, intense and fresh, and you are dying to see them at every waking moment. Temporary goodbyes at the end of a fantastic date are painful, and as soon as you reach home, you switch on your laptop to meet them virtually. As time progresses, these aching feelings of missing them start to disappear, and you no longer see the urgent need to meet frequently. When these things happen, never take it personally and treat it just like any other relationship; there are surefire methods to reignite the sparks and if you’re wondering how, then read on!
1. Confess your love and mean it
Feelings fade when we focus less on our significant others and more on ourselves. As the work piles on and baby responsibilities come in the way, we often take our loved ones for granted and take their presence as a given. We stop the “I love you”s and the daily good morning and goodnight texts. You stop showing verbal appreciation for your partner and your partner starts to do the same as well. To avoid this, a simple “I love you” each day is a simple yet effective way of reminding both you and your loved one that you appreciate and care for them. Constantly reminding your partner that you still love her is useful in keeping the love fresh and warm. Instead of always saying it out loud, you can change things up by sticking a random post-it note on the toilet mirror to start her day right, or by dropping her a text during the day to show that she is on your mind. What’s more, boost her confidence by complimenting her on her makeup or the way she looks; a little goes a long way and the important thing is to be genuine and mean what you say!
2. Do new things together
When we stop having new and novel experiences with our partner and engage in daily mundane routines, we often lose the spark of novelty from doing new things. Going to the same cafe for every date night out of convenience, or staying home during the weekends out of sheer laziness is not the way to maintain your relationship. Instead, a pro tip to rekindle the love is to do brand new things with your partner. Experiment with a new recipe, go on a trip to a country you have never been to before or learn a new sport together. The key is to do something that none of you have tried or done before, in order to experience the adrenaline and excitement together. This will help create a stronger bond and bring newfound joy and fun into the otherwise mundane relationship.
3. Engage in intimacy
As your relationship progresses, it is normal for a couple to engage in intimate activities less often. You no longer sexually crave for your partner and sex progressively turns into a routine, or it may even become a chore for some. Spice up your sex life by introducing new toys, positions, and even roleplay to make it more interesting. The point is to start having sex again and to make it fun; to rekindle the warm and fuzzy feeling derived from the full, undivided attention from each other. As you grow older together, your desires and the way your body reacts changes, giving you a chance to explore new experiences together as a couple.
4. Compliment her daily
When relationships become stale and mundane, verbal communication may soon decrease as well. This is when you stop making an effort to tell your partner that you still appreciate her, and it also makes you focus on her bad character traits instead of the good. One simple practice that both parties can do is to give each other a compliment each day. Simple things like “your hair smells good”, “your dress looks great on you” and “you look cute when you smile” are small little things that can brighten your partner’s day. You can spice things up by picking up little gifts for her every now and then. A sugary treat that she has been craving for or a new lip color that she has been thinking about will show that she is still on your mind.
5. Doll up
Gone were the days where you would spend an hour in the toilet styling your hair, shaving and spraying on your favorite cologne right before leaving your house for a date. For the ladies, redoing your perfect winged eyeliner over and over again and standing in front of the mirror curling your hair for hours were probably things of the past. Now, date nights comprise of you putting on a bra and leaving the house in your pajamas, heading to the coffee shop down the street for a quick meal. Why does it have to change? Being together for years does not mean that you should stop dolling up before meeting your significant other. Start putting in an effort to groom yourself again before a night out, and maintain your personal hygiene by showering and shaving frequently. By continuing to maintain your outer appearance, it helps to keep the physical attraction alive between you and your partner.
Relationships tend to slowly become mundane once both parties get lazy and stop making an effort to spice up the partnership. The excitement and anticipation of when you will be able to see your partner again slowly dissipates, especially if you are married and living together. The comfort and warmth it brings from being in your partner’s arms progressively evolve into a cold “hi” as soon as you reach home from work. When relationships grow stale, both parties have to actively bring back the sparks and joy in a relationship, in order to make the partnership blissful and exciting again. If you find yourself having less and less things to talk to your other half about, we’d recommend searching for some starter questions for couples to make things more fun during date nights!